And I know this is going to sound like every in-denial LW who ever wrote in to an advice columnist ever, but he’s not a bad guy.
He’s fun to hang out with, he’s a devoted dad, he’s a loyal friend …
and he’s driving away all of his female friends with his behavior.
If you’re a regular reader, you probably knew that I was on the CBS Early Show in July. We wrote two new profile essays that were unique, funny and confident.Appearing with me was one of my all-time favorite clients, Tom Pandolfo. We renamed him “Look Ma No Hair.” And we watched as his in-box filled up with interested women. So, after hiring me as his dating coach, we set to work in rebranding him on We had Tom fill out my long questionnaire and submit to an hour of questions from me on the phone.You can see what a great experience it was in this CBS Early Show clip: What I haven’t yet mentioned is that Tom Pandolfo is 5’3″.I didn’t want to mention it for the same reason that Tom didn’t want to mention it in his profile: because it’s irrelevant to anything that makes him a good accountant, husband, or father. He’s just been confronted with a very ugly reality that has shaken his confidence in people.
Yet his height defines him, since it has prevented otherwise interested women from being interested in him over the course of his entire life. Okay, I’m kidding about the last part, but only because I’m so serious about the rest of this. And even though we had good initial results, the fact remains, empirically: women don’t want short men.
To see if the women would go for short guys who were successful, ABCNEWS’ Lynn Sherr created extraordinary résumés for the shorter men. Sherr asked whether there’d be anything she could say that would make the shortest of the men, who was 5 feet, irresistible. And although you can feel free to substitute “older women”, “older men”, “heavier women”, or “Asian men”, I honestly feel that nobody gets a rawer deal than short guys.
She told the women that the shorter men included a doctor, a best-selling author, a champion skier, a venture capitalist who’d made millions by the age of 25. One of the women replied, “Maybe the only thing you could say is that the other four are murderers.” Another backed her up, saying that had the taller men had a criminal record she might have been swayed to choose a shorter man. Honestly, ladies…You can get your own dishes from the top shelf.
Another said she’d have considered th Lest you think this is an example of reality TV finding evidence to support a story, Tom tried his own experiment last week. You don’t really need to feel “protected” from the dangers of suburbia.
Sure enough, few women give a fair shake to a man who is 5’3”, no matter what else he has going for him. So I tried changing my profile for three days just to see what the difference was between being 5’3″ and 5’10”. And no amount of complaining is going to change it. And why, in God’s name, is it important to stand on your tiptoes to kiss a guy? Is there any legitimate reason not to go out with this amazing, amazing man?
I wanted to know if height was the only difference and the constant deal breaker.