Everything seems meaningless, including previous accomplishments and what had given life meaning.
While not everyone’s experience is the same, when people have a major depressive episode, generally the world looks, feels, and is understood completely differently than before and after the episode.
During a major depressive episode, the world can literally seem like a dark place.
What was beautiful may look ugly, flat, or even sinister.
The depressed person may believe loved ones, even their own children, are better off without them.
Nothing seems comforting, pleasurable, or worth living for.
There’s no apparent hope for things ever feeling better, and history is rewritten and experienced as confirmation that everything has always been miserable, and always will be.When this reality shift happens, it’s difficult to remember or believe what seemed normal before the episode.What the person believes during the episode seems absolutely real, and anything that conflicts with it is as unbelievable as a memory or message telling him or her that the sky is purple.For example, if the person is unable to feel love for a spouse, and someone reminds the person that he or she used to feel that love, the person may firmly believe he or she had been pretending to himself/herself and others—though at the time he or she really felt it.The person can’t remember feeling the love, and can’t feel it during the episode, and thus concludes he or she never felt it.The same process happens with happiness and pleasure. Any activity takes many times more effort, as if every movement requires displacing quicksand to make it.