3) Now that I’m 100% taken, I can’t act on any crush or attraction, so I don’t even allow myself to go there emotionally. Keep in mind that other variations of friends may be fraught with danger. So if you’re a woman reading this, check out those four bullet points.
“When Harry Met Sally” posed the age-old question, and seemed to answer it: No. This popular You Tube video posits largely the same premise – men will always want to sleep with their platonic girlfriends.
But if you’re lucky, you can fall in love with your best friend.
And while I don’t trust college boys to teach any life lessons in platonic friendship, even science validates their claim that men will sleep with their friends.
From this Psychology Today article: “In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Sapadin asked more than 150 professional men and women what they liked and disliked about their cross-sex friendships. Men, on the other hand, more frequently replied that sexual attraction was a prime reason for initiating a friendship, and that it could even deepen a friendship.
Either way, 62 percent of all subjects reported that sexual tension was present in their cross-sex friendships.” Pretty predictable, but important for women to understand.
If a guy is making an effort to hang out with you, it’s probably not just “as friends”.He’s merely accepting friendship, in lieu of dating you, because it beats the alternative. Having no girl friends, and, therefore, no one to confide in.From the same article: “Men rated cross-sex friendships as being much higher in overall quality, enjoyment and nurturance than their same-sex friendships.What they reported liking most was talking and relating to women—something they can’t do with their buddies.Meanwhile, women rated their same-sex friendships higher on all these counts.They expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men do, explained Sapadin, so they’re easily disappointed when they don’t receive them. “Men confide in women.” This all reinforces a principle extolled in my book, “Why He Disappeared”.